listen to "old times," by the elected

I think this is a wonderful time, the first long period when everyone has come back from school. After months of summer spent preparing for and imagining the ways we would and wouldn't change, now we finally get to see how right we actually were. It gives a rather stark perspective on who you are not and probably will not ever be friends with, but the friendships you do have now have to answer to all kinds of questioning- is this really sustainable afterall, or does it just not fit now that everything's been rearranged? When does a new room mean there is no room?
It's funny, the lengths we go for what's comfortable. When old routines and relationships are falling back into their places all around you, you think, well why not? Whether or not you want it falls by the wayside- easy plus familiar might as well equal something close to desirable, at least if you squint. Then you find yourself shoving everything around to make your life like a time capsule of itself. In a recreation of when you wanted what you insist you still want, it is important to arrange it so no one will notice how tightly the seams are stretched.
This week has seen the return of two people I thought I was probably done knowing, and there is no question that even though I can find no reason to, with both I am trying. Boredom is of course part of things, but how much really? I think a lot of it is a sort of opportunity-induced nostalgia, for what you didn't think you wanted until suddenly you could have it, and if you can have it then why bother not wanting it anymore?

But how long can someone go thinking that anyone or anything can fit anywhere anytime. Everyone's screaming about change, but when it comes half the time it's ignored. Of course, there's the counter argument, of how much going back to something is all about proving change. I think this might be the worst kind of nostalgia, because it thinks it isn't that at all, when really it is, but full of bitterness too. There is maybe no really easy way to leave and come back. If you come back, there must be something you're coming back to, and then there's all sorts of trouble to trick yourself into wanting. And it all looks so comfortable! You might even forget that once your hands were so full of why you were leaving it would have taken you a week to write all the reasons down.